Sheldon and Penny Shared the Truest Love on The Big Bang Theory
A rare TV relationship that depicts platonic love between a man and woman.
On the May 2019 episode “A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast” from the ABC sitcom Young Sheldon, the prequel to the 12-season sitcom The Big Bang Theory, boy genius Sheldon Cooper throws a party for the Nobel Prize ceremony, but is left alone, none of his guests attending. As the winner is being announced, little Sheldon starts to cry, fearing that he’s doomed to be friendless.
As Diana Ross and the Supremes’ “Someday We’ll Be Together” starts playing, the montage moves from poor Sheldon’s weeping face to a sequence in which the future characters of The Big Bang Theory appear, each reacting to the Nobel Prize — except for the future Penny, sprawled on her bed snoring out loud. Musing on his loneliness, the present-day Sheldon (Jim Parsons) narrates the scene, reminiscing, “In that moment I felt like a neutrino, destined to be alone forever.” After the montage assures us that the adult Sheldon would be surrounded by friends, he says, “Thankfully, I was wrong.”
The Big Bang Theory tells the story of a pair of geniuses who live in a Pasadena apartment building, sharing a flat. They hold court in their apartment with their fellow scientists, playing video games, watching science-fiction films, and discussing scientific theory. Their world is turned upside down when they meet their new neighbor, a kooky blonde actress. Though the show initially had Sheldon and roommate Leonard (Johnny Galecki) serve as the central duo: Sheldon’s persnickety fussbudget contrasted appealingly with the genial Leonard. But as soon as the first season drew to a close, a far more interesting and compelling relationship came up: that of Sheldon and Penny. His single-minded self-centredness clashed beautifully with Penny’s goofiness.
Throughout sitcom history, the greatest comedies on television featured great comic duos: Lucy and Ethel, Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton, Gilligan and the Skipper, Laverne and Shirley, Mary and Rhoda. And though initially, we thought that The Big Bang Theory would have Sheldon and Leonard be the main comic duo of the show. Even in the show’s pilot, we saw the two fall into sitcom-y hijinks when they found themselves at a sperm bank. The image of the two guys: tall, gangly Sheldon and short Leonard were vaguely reminiscent of Laurel and Hardy. But the writers discovered that the comic chemistry between Jim Parsons and Kaley Cuoco was the funniest on the show.
Though the comic duo was a threadbare trope by the time The Big Bang Theory premiered, rarely was the comic duo a friendship between men and women. Writers often want to inject sexual tension when they have a sparkly pair. But with Penny and Sheldon, the relationship has no sexual tension at all. In fact, Sheldon’s inability to read social cues and lack of social graces make him a unique person to get close to; it takes a certain kind of tolerance and grace. The friendships he has — with Leonard as well as the other geniuses in the friend group, Howard Wolowitz, and Raj Kathroopoli — are defined by science and academia. And because Sheldon’s self-involved personality makes him especially obnoxious and competitive, he has to be the smartest person in the room.
But Penny — an out-of-work actress with average intelligence — doesn’t pose a threat to Sheldon’s intellectual dominance. Though she occasionally appreciates his intellect, she isn’t as impressed nor is she competitive with Sheldon — his verbal forays into science minutia don’t amaze her. And though Sheldon eventually develops a sexual relationship with a woman, Penny’s obvious charms and traditional beauty don’t necessarily impress him, either.
Much of Penny’s social interactions are predicated on her good looks, but they didn’t work for Sheldon, who sought other qualities in women. So because neither character had to be “on” when together, the friendship worked. Because of Penny’s utter lack of pretension or professional rivalry, Sheldon was able to be open and honest with her, more so than with anyone else in his life.
The friendship between Sheldon and Penny took on various tones, depending on their situations. At times, Penny took on a maternal role, other times, as a protective older sister, at one point, Sheldon admitted that he saw Penny as a “nanny.” Though Sheldon had major struggles with intimacy and had difficulties in expressing his feelings and emotions, he was able to forge a friendship with Penny that was warm and genuine because she — more than any other character, with the possible exception of Leonard — was able to tolerate his eccentricities.
When together, they talked of personal matters like love, friendship, careers in a way that made their relationship far deeper and more profound than the kind of friendships he had with the other characters. Though Sheldon would eventually marry, as would Penny who would finally cement her on-again-off-again romance with Leonard, their friendship endured, at times even causing friction with their respective spouses who would sometimes feel left out of their strange union.
When the show introduced the three characters, there was little evidence in the pilot that Penny and Sheldon would emerge as the breakout pair. The first time the show played with the particular chemistry between Penny and Sheldon was in the show’s eleventh episode of the first season. In “The Pancake Batter Anomaly,” Sheldon gets sick and is abandoned by his friends because his obnoxious behavior becomes even more intolerable when he’s ill; no place else to go, the flu-stricken Sheldon appears at Penny’s Cheesecake Factory job. Annoying and pathetic, Sheldon is resentful of Penny, blaming her for his predicament as she recently returned from a trip after her relatives were sick with the flu. Bitter about being sick, he demands soup from Penny, who is trying to summon up as much tolerance as she can. Their bickering has a sharp, quick rat-a-tat of a well-oiled comic partnership.
Parson’s performance is broad as his stuffed-up delivery of the complicated lines is buttressed by a broad physical bit of outlandish sneezing and blowing his nose. Meanwhile, Cuoco is the consummate straight man, appearing unflappable as she trades lines and setting up punchlines for Parsons. Taking him home, Penny must contend with Sheldon’s fevered recalcitrance, and his growing babyness, acquiescing to his begging to rub VapoRub on his chest. Their friendship is officially cemented when the ill Sheldon asks Penny to soothe him by singing “Soft Kitty,” a children’s lullaby which would become a staple on the show, sung when Penny or Sheldon weren’t feeling well.
Though Penny would gleefully pass on the nursing duties to Leonard who returns home, she would care for Sheldon when he would need help and he’d return the favour, particularly in the third season episode, “The Adhesive Duck Deficiency” when it was Sheldon playing Florence Nightingale, nursing Penny back to health after she broke her arm in the bathtub. As with his bout of the flu, Penny and Sheldon ended up duetting on “Soft Kitty” after Penny’s injury. Though the show had the characters jump in to help each other, the unique relationship between Penny and Sheldon was established on “The Pancake Batter Anomaly” — one that is prickly, flinty, at-times co-dependent, but functional because they fulfilled their emotional needs for each other — more so, than with any other characters, even their spouses.
Whether it’s in Penny’s apartment or the gang’s place across the hallway, Penny and Sheldon often found themselves alone together, hashing out their problems and providing honest assessments of their predicaments, being able to be completely objective because of the specific nature of their friendship.
Sometimes Sheldon would be a sounding board for Penny when she had relationship issues, a particularly dicey situation for him because he was close to Leonard, too; and though she didn’t understand most of what he was talking about, she would often listen to his professional troubles, too, being a good listener (though offering a well-placed quip from time-to-time). When Sheldon became involved with a fellow scientist, Amy Farrah Fowler (Mayim Bialik), Penny’s superior emotional intelligence made her a great confidant when he found himself nonplussed with the emotional requirements of an adult relationship with the opposite sex. Though their patter — hilariously written, by the way — was often snarky and snippy, they shared a deep sibling-like rapport.
Though the show’s initial premise was of two nerdy scientists who become neighbors with the hot blonde girl, the show grew in scope as the cast grew. Along with the initial cast, additional characters were added, most notably Amy and Bernadette — two scientists who would join the gang as well as become romantic partners for Sheldon and Howard, respectively. The show started to resemble Friends as it became a large ensemble show with built-in recurring jokes, stunt guest casting, as well as multi-episode arcs about romance and dating.
When Sheldon and Penny started to have serious romantic relationships, their special friendship sometimes took a backseat to the romantic comedy, the writers falling back into more traditional sitcom themes of serial dating and breakups. But the most compelling relationship still endured — as if to remind the viewers, in the seventh season’s “The Anything Can Happen Recurrence” Penny and Sheldon break off from the group after a fight, going out for dinner on their own, and later on, due to Penny’s urging, they visit a psychic. There are a number of things that make this episode significant:
- During this season, Sheldon was experiencing a major crisis of identity, and his work suffered as he was no longer interested in string theory and Penny was invested in helping her friend.
- This episode highlighted just how open and comfortable Sheldon felt around Penny, willing to go along with her personal eccentricities like going to a psychic, despite his hostility towards supernatural pursuits.
- Amy admits to Leonard that the close bond Penny and Sheldon share makes her jealous — not because she suspects them of being interested romantically, but because she is envious that she cannot forge the deep connection with the skittish and cut-off Sheldon in the same way that Penny has.
In the show’s final episode, Sheldon, along with Amy, wins the coveted Nobel Prize, an interesting bookend to when as a child, Sheldon found himself lonely and dejected, listening to the Nobel Prize ceremony. As a kid, he was alone, crying because he had no friends, and it didn’t look like he was going to make any. As an adult, though, as a Nobel Prize recipient, he has his family of friends in attendance, including Penny, who, with Leonard, he calls his “dearest friend in the world.” It’s a fitting tribute to a strange friendship that ended up being the heart of the show.
